It's just one of those days.  Next month is Alex's birthday, he would have been 8 years old.  He wanted to have his party at Planet Play with his family and friends. He loved golf and wanted to play the mini golf that is in the dark and everything glows. I wanted him to do it last year.  He didn't feel up to it and said he would just do it on his next birthday.  I was too afraid to tell him that most likely this would be his last.  I was also hoping so badly it wouldn't be.  So, here I am sitting and typing on this blog, a complete mess because I should be planning a birthday party for a very excited little boy.  Not trying to decide what to do to celebrate his life at his grave.
It will be a year in April since I last hugged and kissed my baby boy good-bye.  It is in no way getting easier. Time will not heal this wound. Every day that passes is another day longer I have been without Alex.

 I know this post is so depressing.  I feel like I should be able say something inspiring to help others and I just can't.